Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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