How'd it feel making her break her religion?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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