you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
