At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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