Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
