I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
