I can tuck mytits in my pants
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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