I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
