And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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