is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
it's like iHOP with fire
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
