I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
