Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
