If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
