I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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