Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
