Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
