So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
