So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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