so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
