In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Randomize
