Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
