Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
