This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
