You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
