just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
this will be a night to untag.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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