i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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