you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
