i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
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