dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Every concussion has its silver lining
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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