Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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