I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
