I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
