guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
