So drunk, too bad you don't want this
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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