Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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