how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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