Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
