I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
