im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i used baking grease as lip gloss
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
