New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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