I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
