when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
