Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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