I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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