question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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