Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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