I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
