just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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