Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
