OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
